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Who said these lines on The Dick Van Dyke Show?

When it comes to furniture-based gags, the opening credits to The Dick Van Dyke Show was its own Ottoman Empire.

Everybody knows and loves TDVDS for its physical comedy. While Van Dyke was absolutely the Prince of Pratfalls, the writing on that show deserves some spotlight, too. Because, after all, it's a show about comedy writers!

Here's the deal: We're going to provide a quote, and you're going to guess who said it! Simple as that, right? Well... sometimes, context is key. So this might be a little bit trickier than you pictured. But give it a shot, and let us know your thoughts and score in the comment section below. Have fun! 

  1. "It's just like my Aunt Agnes used to say..."
  2. "Dwight Heatheron happens to be an excellent writer who is unknown because he gets no publicity."
  3. "This guy laughs at everything! Bet he'll laugh if I say 'shoehorn'... SHOEHORN!"
  4. "At least I'll prove one thing tonight: Television writers marry the prettiest girls."
  5. "I want to take a nap before I go to sleep."
  6. "Millie, in trying to help you, Rob, wrote fourteen letters praising the show, and Alan, and you."
  7. "Noooo. I was at the U.N. the day it happened. Listen, if this guy didn't have those four eyes, I'd have married him."
  8. "I dreamt that Danny Thomas was chasing me and throwing walnuts at me, and every place he'd hit me I'd lose a thumb and grow an eye!"
  9. "The only Dick and Betty Carter I know are Phil and Edna Greenbaum."
  10. "This is getting to me. I think I'm a premature father."

Who said these lines on The Dick Van Dyke Show?

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